Have you ever completed a race or an event, and a few days after you felt down, lost or deflated? Chances are you could’ve experienced a case of the Post-Race Blues. Post Race Depression is more common than you think. For months, your life has been organised around this singular goal… Now, suddenly it’s over and the disciplined, intensive efforts are no longer required.

Team Athlete, Helen Bettie has experienced Post Race Depression first hand and has provided us with a few of her thoughts, experiences, feelings and tips to overcome your down period. Regardless of your circumstances, there’s no need to hide, there’s always support and if you feel like you need additional help, https://depression.org.nz has techniques and advice to get you through.

The Aftermath

Generally, it’s pretty fair to say I’m not backwards in coming forward and tend to do a pretty good job of using my 10 000 words every day. Possibly, even over the allocation from time to time. I also have a strong belief that, like Sir John Kirwan, getting the tough and ugly bits out of your head and talking to those that love you, know you and want to help you, is critical.

So I came to a bit of a bump in the road, when after the awesomeness of Perth UCI World Champs, the old Black Dog came to greet me. That in itself wasn’t the bump… it was whether to share or not.

It took me a couple of weeks to figure out what was going on – someone asked how I was, and I described some of my behaviours, and feelings, and as I did that I thought, “Hmm, sounds like I’m depressed…”

Come in, Dr Google à diagnosis confirmed. There was a long list when I googled “Post-race depression… (PRD)”  Shortly after (OK… the day after) and before I’d decided what to do with this new found information, I went to de-brief the World’s race with the bike boys at Torpedo7, and about 3 minutes into the conversation, Ben outright asked, “So, do you have PRD?”

Awkward. FOUND OUT!

But useful – because it turns out lots of people get it… and I wish I’d known that, rather than having to figure this all out the hard way and worrying that I was a weirdo.

Judgey-eyes

I never believe the statement, “I don’t care what anyone thinks of me…” It’s not actually true. We all seek validation, a place in the world, and having value. And as such, we are all affected to some degree by what others think of us. Some people’s opinions matter more to us than others, for sure – but in the end, it’s not really normal not to be affected in some way by others’ judgments. Those who REALLY don’t give a rip and have a complete self-belief and sense importance and rightness are another type – narcissists.

You don’t really want to be that guy (or girl)…

So… that said, and fearing judgey-eyes for over-sharing, I will say that the black dog is not new to me. But my last run in with the mongrel was following a major life crisis. The sort of crisis that everyone understands, and for which there is sympathy and empathy. And one of which you are not going to be judged or critiqued.

I wasn’t quite sure of the response I’d get for feeling like crap, after doing something that I really loved. Something for which I’d had the most amazing support, help, and was a massive amount of fun. Kind of hard to share and own the fact that despite all of this, I felt really, REALLY bollocks. It was certainly valid – that I knew. I felt sort of “guilty,” that despite all the amazing help and support I’d experienced, I was letting my team down, being lugubrious. Crazy-much?! Yep, perhaps – but that thought process also added kilos to the dog, that was already doing pretty damn well for himself anyway!

Candidness prevailed – and I did share because I’m hopeless not sharing. It turns out that once you poke that idea outside of your head, there are many others who have felt the same way. That was good to know – always good to be on the bell curve of normality… right?

Education

What did I learn, and why should I share? I learned a lot, and I’m sharing because I wish I had known before the fact.

I learned that:

• PRD is common.
• PRD is normally pretty short-lived.
• PRD is often prevented or treated by planning the next target.
• Those who don’t understand will say, “Stop racing…” which isn’t that answer.
• Those that do understand are supportive and helpful.
• The stigma associated with mental health affected my preparedness to share.
• You should say it out loud… despite being quite scared of what others might think.
• Gratitude

A final word – to everyone who acknowledged, shared, helped and understood – you’re all fabulous.